Ladies, you know you’re planning a wedding because :

You’re on a strict diet plan.
You find yourself searching for bridal magazines.
There aren’t enough wedding fayres for you to visit in a month.
You can’t stop talking about your wedding plans.
You stare at your engagement ring for the 10th time that day.
You wonder what your niece looks like in a bridesmaid dress.
You’re stressing about inviting your Great Auntie Norah.
You can’t wait to buy a valentine’s card with “To my fiancee” on it.
You moan at your husband-to-be for eating more then one burger at a BBQ.
You warn his best mate about his language during the best man speech.
You’re worrying about a free bar or a paid bar.
You subscribe to a wedding website’s “daily wedding tip” email newsletter.
You start wondering why wedding favours are called wedding favours.
You carry a picture of your wedding dress around in your handbag.
You wonder if that really is the dress to get married in.
You consider joining a gym.
You join a gym.
You go twice in 9 months.
You stress about involving one sibling in the wedding and not the other.
You think it’s all costing too much.
Your parents want to invite their friends because they contributed to your wedding day.
Your H2b’s parents are divorced and you plan to ensure they don’t sit near each other.
Your uncle offers to be the videographer, but his nose whistles.
Your mates plan your hen weekend and buy a “hilarious” “L” plate for you.
Your Mum asks your opinion about her hat.
Your best man asks how “fit” the chief bridesmaid is.
You hire a Rolls Royce to get you to the wedding ceremony, and book your H2B’s cab for him.
You “finalise” your seating plan for the fifteenth time.
You test your H2B to make sure he is thinking of the same song as you for the first dance.
You consider dancing lessons.
You make a list of people that you want in your official wedding photos.
You warn your H2B that his mates must be well dressed and well behaved.
You ask yourself again, do you want a DJ or a band.
You think wedding cake testing is the best part of the whole planning.
You look at wedding rings, and wonder if you should get one with diamonds.
You’re not sure if your 3rd make-up trial was better then your 5th.
You book your dream honeymoon destination, and set up a countdown in your calendar.
You wonder if a 50″ Plasma TV is a little too much for your wedding gift list.
You ask if you should have flowers or balloons on the tables.
You choose to have both.
You think a toastmaster is a little too formal for your wedding day.
You book him anyway, because he’s cute and friendly.
You warn your fiancee about his behaviour on his stag do.
You can’t wait to go mad on your hen do.
Your wedding invitations turn up and they’ve mis-spelt your name.
You cry and blame your fiancee as it’s entirely his fault.
You wonder why anyone hires a lucky chimney sweep for a wedding?
You book a lucky chimney sweep for your wedding.
You look into wedding insurance and assume it’s just for people who don’t turn up.
You panic and wonder if “he is really the one?”

Gents, you know you’re planning a wedding because :

You’re told what to do and where to be.