We were contacted recently by Sara Evans who is getting married in Essex in 2009, she was looking for a little advice about what to do when it comes to wedding guests paying for drinks at the bar, and whether or not to opt for a free bar at the wedding.

We informed her that every wedding is unique, and that she and her groom should make a desicion based on what they felt was right, and what was within their wedding budget. Our thoughts are simple, you should never, ever, plan your wedding around what others may expect.

This thought led us to this very blog post though, what do wedding guests expect when it comes to the bar at the wedding reception ? Is it traditional for the bride and groom to pay for all the guests drinks or is it even expected by the guests ?

Wedding traditions have slowly changed over the last ten to fifteen years, the idea of arriving at your wedding day on the back of a horse drawn carriage may not be everyone’s idea of a nice entrance, however beautiful it may look. A great deal of couples are planning less formal, more low-key weddings and deciding for a bigger party as the wedding reception.

Organising larger wedding receptions and smaller more intimate wedding ceremonies is a good way of saving costs on wedding catering, but the big party in the evening leaves the bride and groom worrying about the cost of the drinks, so here’s a few ideas on how to organise your bar :

DIY bar
If you’re hiring a marquee for your wedding, the likelihood is that the owners will allow you to provide your own bar, bar staff and drinks. If this is the case, then a trip to Tesco for the wine and spirits, and a conversation with a local dealer of keg beer and equipment could provide you with everything you need to keep the wedding guests flowing with “free” drinks without costing you a fortune.
Ask friends and relatives if they know anyone that would be happy to work behind the bar at your wedding.

Inform the wedding venue of your drinks rules
If your wedding reception is being held at a wedding venue that operates it’s own bar, then they’ll have set prices for all the drinks. Ask the wedding venue for a copy of the drinks prices in advance, perhaps even before you book the venue.
If you decide to go ahead and pay for some of the drinks, inform the venue which drinks come from your credit and which should be paid for by the wedding guests. For example, you could simply inform bar staff that you’ll pay for red and white wine by the glass, and draught beers only. That way if a wedding guest wants a double brandy and coke, they can pay for it themselves. Also consider telling the bar staff that younger wedding guests need to be accompanied by their parents at the bar otherwise they’ll be nipping up there for a new glass of lemonade every 15 minutes.

Set a limit
Instead of just deciding that you’ll buy all your wedding guests drinks, set a limit with the wedding reception venue and inform them that once that limit is reached, then they need to start charging the wedding guests for their drinks.

Consider a late free bar
If you’ve decided to pay part of the bar costs as a way of ensuring all your guests receive at least one drink from the happy couple, as a thank you for attending your wedding, then consider opening the free bar at the end of the night, instead of the start.
This option means that your wedding guests would of been enjoying their drinks for a good few hours before the free bar opens, meaning they would of slowed down quite considerably. You know yourself at the start of the evening everyone is a little more “thirsty and eager” and the bar. Leaving your free bar until later in the evening will mean that all wedding guests receive a drink without the tab drying up in record time ! Remember to inform the bar staff that things like large tequila’s are still paid for – there is always one chancer !!!

Wedding guests pay
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your wedding guests paying for their own drinks, after all they are your nearest and dearest friends and family. If you don’t have the budget or the desire to provide your wedding guests with endless booze, then don’t worry about it at all. The fact is that it’s your wedding, they are privileged to be invited and they’ll enjoy the wedding regardless of what the bar costs or doesn’t cost.

Happy Wedding Planning !